My Good Friend : Hairy Helene

This is wt hairy repay me for my kindness =_=.
My hao3 peng2 you3(good friend) name is Hairy Helene.His name is very meaningful as it is given by weizhuan(yy and me too).Hairy means....well......hairy.Every corner of dat bugger skin contain 1 cubic square of hairy...hairy........... HAIR!And Helene is smthng we took from chemistry organic compound to summore flourish his name.Its from the alkene group.SO,he have a double=bond.Dat means, he need to absorb or take stuff from others to beCum stable.Or that guy will be reli unstable like a free radical on the lose.He is always on the move to find a prey,forcing people to give up their 'electrons' to him.Every Friday ,after our lab session , he always make sure dat i sit with him in dat particular day.He will keep reminding me to do my lab report .What a nice friend :D.He even help me to set a time limit for me to finish my homework as i always procrastinate.After that ,he willingly took my paper and helped me hand up .What a nice guy :D.But ,the truth is ,every friday he AMBUSH me and set some bag and file traps to make just the spot beside him empty and eventually i have to sit there.He will keep buggin me bout reports and assignments, asking me when will u finish.And he will take it without even saying thank you or sometimes he wont even snatch it away without you finishing it first.Well,i always wanted to say something to our dear old friend hairy here.That is ................BUGGER YOU!!
(p.s sorry if it sounds like a standard 6 student essay )